Captain’s Blog, Stardate 71558.9, Captain Eales of the “Starship Enterprose” reporting.
Today, I embark upon my maiden voyage to the Planet Publishing, a nearly impenetrable celestial body inhabited by beings of untold power and mystery. To reach my destination I must first navigate a highly-populated sector of the cosmos called “The Median of Socialonia.” Once there, I hope to liaison with like starships and planetary civilizations who might one day benefit from my literary works. To that end, I hurtle through space at warp speed, fueled by Wix antimatter, to arrive at the outer limits of...the Blogosphere.
In the distance, I detect thousands upon thousands of individual starships called Blog-Pods, where other Author-Ships and Reader-Ships have colonized the Blogosphere before me. But as I draw within visual range, something seems amiss.
“On screen,” I instruct my ship’s computer. At once, countless starships fill my view, their crews faintly visible through enormous bridge windows. “Magnify.”
How curious! Many of the crew appear exhausted and disillusioned. Why, I wonder? I open a channel, requesting an explanation for this anomaly. The nearest Author-Ship responds. “We’re transmitting regular blog posts week after week,” explains the commander, “but instead of drawing in the Reader-Ships we seek, only fellow Author-Ships are intercepting our messages. We’re at a loss to understand it, Captain. Can you help us?”
I consult my ship’s computer for analysis. Fascinating! It has determined that each Author-Ship must stop blogging about writing, which is attracting only other aspiring writers. Instead, they should blog about their book’s subject matter, thereby engaging their potential Reader-Ships accordingly. Only then can each Author-Ship build an alliance with those who will one day become their planetary people.
“Computer,” I ask, “please illustrate.”
“For example,” responds the computer, “a High Fantasy author could blog about medieval history, costume, and weaponry or a writer of a romance series set in a health club might feature blogs on fitness and nutrition.”
What a brilliant solution! But before relating this information to the Blogosphere, I test the hypothesis on myself. I enter my writing genre (speculative fiction) and my book’s subject matter (a Christian futuristic family saga) into the ship’s computer and await its findings regarding my prospective Reader-Ship.
To my surprise, the database has singled out my very own people—a small sector of the populace known for their analytical natures, unconventional interests, and societal quirks and ineptitudes. They are called “Nerds.”
I am over the moon (figuratively)! At last I have identified my Reader-Ship—Thinkers, Dreamers, Geeks, and Nerds of all ages—the alien race who never fits in, the brainy misfits I know and love. (And they just happen to be voracious readers of speculative fiction.)
I shall relay these findings to the Blogosphere at once, so that both Writers and Readers can safely trek through the Median of Socialonia to find that sector of space they can call home. I am transmitting two subspace communications to that effect. They read:
To the Author-Ships:
“Fellow Prose People, I come in peace! Presently, I shall pass through the Newtrail Zone into the Median of Socialonia, my final frontier. My long-term mission is to explore strange new words. To seek out new Write Forms and new Bloggonian civilizations. To boldly go where millions have gone before! Will you join me on my novel quest?
And to my future Reader-Ships:
Fellow Intellectuals, Academics, Scholars, Theorists, Theologians, and all manner of Geeks, Dorks, and Nerds…
Greetings and Felicitations!
Today is a day for celebration! No longer must you feel ostracized for being different, banished to a lonely sector of deep space due to your anomalous nature. For the Great Author of the Cosmos has created a diverse family of humans, and He loves us one and all.
Accordingly, feel free to beam over to my Blog-Pod whenever you like to nerd out. Together, we will share replicated food for thought as flavorsome as Scotty’s witticisms and conversation as intellectually-stimulating as the good Vulcan himself. And when I have reached the Planet Publishing and hold my completed novel in my hands at last, I hope you’ll still be here, bonding with your fellow nerds in a quadrant where geekiness is celebrated, being different is cool, and the only thing that matters is antimatter.
Forget the Borg. We are the Nerd Collective—a community all our own.
Hip hip hurrah and tallyho!
Now I'd like to hear from YOU.
Do you, too, belong to the Nerd Collective? If so, do you have your own Blog-Pod? Has blogging been meaningful to you? If you are the Captain of an Author-Ship, are you successfully attracting your future Reader-Ships or only other aspiring writers? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.